A series of strange events led to a letter Z being literally carved into my left index finger. Messages like this, written in BLOOD, cannot and should not be ignored.
The Prelude
It all started about a month ago, on July 11, 2017. I walked daily walking my dog and got stung between the toes of my right foot by a bee. This wasn’t the first time I’d been stung, but it was the first time I’ve had a really bad reaction to bee venom. But not immediately. Although it hurt, I was able to go home and my feet looked normal.
But then a few hours later my phone rang. It was my father who told me that my aunt had died and that we would have a funeral in two days. I didn’t take the news too well. I had hoped that she would be able to overcome cancer and the fact that she didn’t (in addition to other family issues which brought her death to the fore for me) was hard. strong> manageable for me.
The next morning my foot had doubled in size and I could no longer walk. I went to the ER and explained that I had to go to a funeral the next day. What should I do? They gave me antihistamines and painkillers. I’ve been told to rest and raise my foot, but if I absolutely have to get out, I should load up on painkillers.
That’s it what I did and made it through the funeral. But when I got home, my foot was huge and it felt like it was about to explode. I was in pain and had to stay in bed for a few more days. The swelling went down extremely slowly. To speed up the process, I visited my mother after a week and we took a short trip to the coast. Dipping my feet in the healing sea water helped and I could walk almost normally.
On my way home However, I had a car accident. It was an animal on the Autobahn (where this shouldn’t be possible). I couldn’t do anything, and I hit and killed it. I won’t go into detail about how terrible it made me feel. I was in shock.
The car was also damaged and the repair will cost around >1,000 euros (most of which are covered by insurance thanks to my insurance policy). It was still functional but a few days later there was a strange noise in the engine and it had to be towed by roadside assistance.
At this point I was unlucky clearly aware that seemed to follow me everywhere. I kept getting anxious and irritated. Dealing with insurance and not having a car also helped.
It turns out that in addition to the accident damage, there is an additional repair list on my 11 year old car needs. All in all, the costs amount to an additional 1,000 euros. The insurance company will not cover these as they are unrelated to the accident.
I had to ask my bank for a loan but since I am unemployed, and barely able to live on welfare and donations, it was no easy task.
To make things even harder on my already strained mental state, we had an unprecedented one Heat wave – the temperature stayed at 108 degrees (42 °C) for days in a country where such heat has never been seen before, even in summer was . That certainly didn’t calm me down. If anything, it added to the already considerable feelings of pressure and discomfort.
I was excited and >impatient (oh, the demon of anger) and in such a state I managed to cut myself with a can. Not only did I manage to cut myself, but it turned out on my second visit to the ER that I completely sever the tendon in my finger.
So the first 1 cm (less than half an inch) wound turned into a giant letter Z scratched into my left index finger. This was performed by the surgeon to save my tendon and maintain the flexibility of my finger. I received 9 sutures and am looking forward to 10 weeks of recovery followed by physical therapy.
Once I received the Z, the fear and pressure are removed and although I pain, it was there a sense of serenity and peace.
Reading the symbols
I recorded and analyzed my dreams for over a decade. It also gave me the habit of trying to decipher events and signs in my life.
Because what if life is just a dream, and who is it saying no?
There are many symbols and messages in this story that I have to deal with (family, bee, poison, death, blood , wound, healing, killing…), but in this post I will only focus on the latter, the crown of it all, so to speak – the all-important letter Z, the in blood was scratched on my finger.
Everything starts with the Z
Z marks first end (from A to Z).
But what is an end if not a new beginning?
As Student of the occult (as in hidden or sacred knowledge and not in any obscure G ethanks that one might associate with the word), I also checked the Hebrew alphabet, the sacred letters. Z is Zayin in Hebrew and means “sword” or “a weapon of the spirit“. p>
A sword has a deep symbolic meaning in the occult. One of the four minor arcana suits in the tarot is dedicated to swords. A sword can cut through confusion, it can strike down its enemies, and it represents air, one of which is the four elements. So it stands for both ‘thought‘ and ‘word‘.
This is really very powerful, because ‘In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.’
There is much more to the letter Zayin. A deep spiritual meaning is ascribed to the letters of the Hebrew alphabet and one can spend a lifetime studying them.
Zayin for example stands for “a woman of bravery” and represents the power of the feminine. Here is more from Rabbi Avraham Arieh Trugman:
After going through and understanding this information, I now feel blessed with this very special letter Z, and I do pay absolutely no attention to the suffering that came with it.
Z or the flash?
The Z on my finger it could also be seen as a lightning. Notice how a tremendous amount of pressure built up inside me, the way you can feel the tension in the air before a storm, and how much relief there was as soon as the letter Z was stitched onto my finger.
Lightning is an important concept in Kabbalahh. Whoever is on the spiritual path will sooner or later come across Kabbalah and the Tree of Life. The lightning represents a stream of energy flowing down from the top of the tree (from the spirit) into the matter world.
Here is a beautiful meditation on Kabbalah, the tree of life and lightning:
The Magician
And then the question arises the position of the Z – my left index finger. This leads us to The Magician, one of the Major Arcana tarot cards. The card could be viewed as another representation of the Tree of Life and the Lightning:
Notice what the magician is doing – he or she conducts a stream of energy (the lightning) from the spiritual world high above into matter below. The magician’s left index finger points to the ground, or to quote from the meditation mentioned above, “the tree [as represented by the magician] drawing power down from heaven to earth strong>.’
The path is a matter of choice
I have chosen to live my life as a magical adventure. You can opt out, but that’s purely a decision issue. I chose to live to explore, for there are many mysteries. I have chosen to live the life worth living, a magic life, because life is a magic gift. With this Z on my finger, I will never forget The life path I have chosen.
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