What is it called when a son hates his mother

Video What is it called when a son hates his mother

The bond between mother and son can be very strong. young children grow up loving their mothers, form a close bond and enjoy spending time together. There is nothing stronger than a mother’s love for her baby.

Sometimes, however, as children grow older, they may begin to hate their mother, and that strong bond they once shared disappears. When a son hates his mother there are steps both parties can take to try to repair the relationship.

Not all sons grow up to hate their mothers, but it does in some families. the love between a son and his mother can return with time, but only if everyone is dedicated to healing this broken and unhealthy relationship.

what is an unhealthy mother-child relationship?

It’s easy enough to imagine why a son might hate an abusive or neglectful mother. if a child has never been properly loved or cared for by his mother, then it would not be surprising if he grew up hating her and not wanting to have a relationship with her.

However, some mothers who have done nothing more than love their child unconditionally, still find themselves with an adult child who hates them.

An unhealthy mother-child relationship can cause a lot of stress and discomfort for mothers who have always tried their best to do the right thing for their child and be the best mother they can be.

So what exactly does an unhealthy mother-son relationship look like?

‘mama’s boy’

When a mother and her child are extremely close, the child is likely to be referred to as a “mama’s boy.” most of the decisions of the son of her and does everything for him.

While unconditional love is an imperative part of parenting, if mothers take complete control of their children’s lives, it can lead to problems later on.

Children can grow up resentful of the guilt they feel for not wanting to spend as much time with their mother when she has done so much and always put him first.

Mom’s boys can sometimes have a hard time making decisions like grown men because they were raised by a mother who decided everything for them.

Mommy’s boy may have difficulty putting other relationships first in his life, even the one with himself, as he always feels that his mother should be his only priority.

the ‘surrogate spouse’

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Sometimes, the relationship between mother and child can be affected by the loss or absence of a male partner in the mother’s life. If a parent has died or has left the family home, the mother may begin to look to her child for emotional support.

It is not a child’s responsibility to meet all of its mother’s emotional needs, and the mother-child relationship is very different from the romantic relationship between a man and a woman.

Without even realizing it, mothers sometimes begin to trust their children to feel happy and loved in the same way a partner would.

They can expect their child to always be there for them and to support them with their emotional needs and struggles.

Of course, children should be loving and caring towards their mother, but the relationship can become toxic when the mother has unhealthy expectations of their bond and treats her son as a surrogate spouse rather than her child.

the ‘overprotective mom’

Children can resent their mother if she was too controlling and overprotective when they were growing up. making mistakes is an important part of life, they help us grow and learn.

However, overprotective mothers will go to great lengths to prevent their children from learning life’s hard lessons.

An overprotective mother usually only acts from a place of love and concern for her child’s well-being, but can become unbearable for her child as he grows older.

Some moms always want to be an important part of their sons’ lives and strive to allow them to expand into the world as grown men.

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An overprotective mother will always want to play an important role in her child’s life and will even try to prevent her from doing certain things because she is worried about her safety and happiness.

my adult son hates me!

a toxic mother-son relationship can breed hatred and you may be wondering, why does my adult son hate me?

Sometimes mothers can easily determine the reasons behind their child’s hatred, but this is not always the case. Your child may never reveal exactly what she has done to provoke her negative feelings towards you.

Take a moment to reflect on your upbringing, can you identify anything you said or did that may have caused your child to feel this way?

Your child may be upset with you or disappointed in the way you reacted to something important that happened in their life.

While you shouldn’t blame yourself for the way your child treats you, it’s important to reflect on how your relationship has changed over the years and try to pinpoint the time period when your child started acting like would hate it .

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what happens when a son hates his mother?

Struggling to know if your child really hates you? Is he just going through a moody phase or is he just testing the limits and pulling away from you as he transitions into adulthood? here is a list of things that can happen when a son hates his mother:

stop talking to you

If your child has come to hate you, they may stop communicating with you altogether. if he lives at home, he may start spending more time in his room or with his friends and refuse to spend quality time with you.

If you’ve already moved, your child may start avoiding your calls and messages and not commit to any plans to visit. if your son hates you he can stop talking to you without even giving you an explanation.

is aggressive

It can be extremely upsetting for mothers to see their once loving child turn aggressive and behave in hurtful ways. sons who hate their mothers may become aggressive and use hurtful obscene language and even violence towards their mother.

doesn’t respect you

Your child may stop showing you respect if he has started to hate you. she may say things that he knows will hurt you, curse at you, or start arguments for no apparent reason.

He will no longer treat you with kindness and love, but will distance himself from you and completely ignore you or just speak to you in a disrespectful and unkind way.

takes you out of his life

Your son may decide that he no longer wants any type of relationship with you. if your son hates you, he might choose to cut you out of his life altogether.

he will stop taking your calls, stop answering messages and will no longer visit you or allow you to spend time with him. some adult sons will drop all contact with their mothers with no intention of repairing the relationship.

why does my son hate me?

So far we’ve discussed what an unhealthy mother-son relationship can look like and covered what can happen when a son hates his mother. but why exactly do sons hate their mothers?

As we mentioned earlier, sometimes mothers can find out why their son hates them, sometimes the son will tell them why they feel that way, but there are cases where the mother will never know the truth behind her son’s hatred To her. .

While every family is different and there is a wide spectrum of reasons children may come to hate their mothers, here is a list of some of the more common ones:

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it annoys him how he was raised

Now that your son is older, he may have reflected on his childhood and concluded that he didn’t raise him the way he thinks he should have. He may be angry that you were too strict or resentful that you didn’t show him enough love and affection.

he feels like you’re controlling him

If your son feels like you’re still treating him like a child and not like the grown man he is, he may develop negative feelings toward you. It can be difficult for moms to adjust to having an adult child for whom they are no longer responsible.

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If you’ve been controlling your child’s life, taking charge of what he can and can’t do even now as an adult, his love for you can turn to resentment and hatred.

has a mental illness

Mental illnesses can affect the way people conduct their relationships with others. For example, if your child has borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder, she may see him as inferior to her and not worthy of her love and respect.

npd can cause your child to develop irrational and negative feelings towards you, can be rude and hurtful and regularly insult you.

If your child shows symptoms of a personality disorder, getting a diagnosis can help you understand his negative behavior toward you.

you don’t respect their limits

Do you always ask your son personal questions, trying to know everything about his life and overstepping his limits?

If your child has asked you to stop doing something (asking you about your love life, for example) and you continue to do it anyway, you may get angry and upset. By ignoring your child’s boundaries, you will make your child feel ignored and disrespected, and you may stop treating him kindly in return.

you don’t respect his decisions and judge him

whether it’s your choice of partner, job, group of friends or even the clothes you want to wear. If you put down or disrespect the choices your child makes, you may stop loving them.

Constantly judging and questioning the decisions your child makes can cause arguments or keep him from wanting to share information about his life with you again in the future.

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what do you do when your adult child hates you?

OK, it’s clear that your child has developed strong negative feelings towards you, what happens next?

There are several steps you can take to try to repair your relationship with your child. Some healing options will require the involvement of both of you, but there are some approaches to repairing the relationship that you can work on alone.

talk about it

You can try to have an open and honest conversation with your child about how you both feel. try not to be accusatory or respond to her anger with more anger.

be vulnerable, explain how you felt and invite him to share his feelings with you too. Depending on how volatile your relationship has become, this conversation may be the first positive step in repairing your relationship.

However, your child may not want to talk to you, or may be aggressive and hurtful and only interested in inciting more arguments. if this happens, don’t get mad and just end the conversation.

Now may not be the time to talk, but don’t rule out a conversation with an adult entirely if you think it might help.

soul searching

Are you really the innocent party in this situation? it is very unlikely that your child has started to hate you for no reason. take some time to think about your relationship with your son, can you remember what happened just before he started acting this way?

Were there unhealthy patterns in the way you treated him growing up that may be to blame? Did something bad happen in his life around the time he started treating you this way, did he lose his job, or did he experience a relationship breakup?

Can you remember how you have treated your child over the years and see in retrospect that you may have done something to hurt and anger him? be kind to yourself, treat yourself with grace and forgive yourself and your child.


If you know why your child hates you, either because they told you or because there is a clear and obvious reason, you should apologize. It can be hard to say sorry, but if he has done something to hurt his child, then he should admit it.

Tell your child you want to apologize, explain how you felt at the time and why you did what you did. Own his feelings but also validate your child’s feelings.

You may not think his behavior is an appropriate response to whatever you’ve done, but your son clearly feels very strongly, and an apology can be the first step in getting your relationship back on track.

make time for yourself

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It can be very upsetting when a son hates his mother. Moms love their children more than anything and it can hurt when that love is no longer reciprocated or appreciated.

If your child refuses to talk to you, instead of trying to spend time changing his behavior, use this time to work on yourself. Spend more time on your hobbies and friendships, try something new, and stay active to help improve your mood and overall well-being.

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If you take the time to improve and grow as a person, you’ll also be in a better mental position to try to repair your relationship with your child when the time is right.

give it space

Constantly trying to get your child to treat you differently can become overbearing and fuel more hate and anger. Give your child the space and time she needs to grow and transition into adulthood in a way that is comfortable for her.

If you have a tendency to be overprotective and controlling, take a step back and give your child the freedom he wants. your son will make mistakes in life, sometimes he will get hurt and he will not always be happy.

This can be a tough pill for moms to swallow, but for the sake of your mother-child bond, you need to let your child experience life on their own terms. When your child is ready to talk to you, offer grace and compassion and eventually, hopefully, forgiveness.

honor your limits

if your child has asked you to stop showing up at your house unannounced, then stop showing up at your house unannounced. If he has asked you to stop calling him three times a day, put your phone away.

If he’s asked you to stop asking prying questions about his romantic life, try to control your curiosity. Whatever boundary your child has set, he has put it there for a reason and you should respect his decision.

If you continue to cross his boundaries after he’s made it very clear to you, he may feel like you’re ignoring his wishes and not caring about his feelings. show your kids the limits they deserve and he can start treating you with more love and kindness.

treat him like an adult

Your child is no longer a baby, they are an adult and deserve to be treated as such. you will always be the mother of your son, but now he is an adult and does not need you in the same way as when he was a child.

Treat your child with the same respect you would show any other adult. Her love for him doesn’t have to change, but she must accept that her son is a grown man now and that their relationship will be different than it was when he was younger.

get support

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Having a strained relationship with your child can affect your mental health and overall well-being. You may be too upset to enjoy your usual hobbies and activities, or you may be constantly arguing with your child.

If you and your child are willing to go to therapy together, a therapist can help you both learn the real reasons your child hates you and provide you with strategies for overcoming problems in your relationship.


If your child isn’t willing to see a therapist with you, there’s no reason why they can’t seek professional advice on their own.

Talk with a therapist can help you cope with the way your child makes you feel and may be able to help you identify parenting mistakes you’ve made that may be the root cause of your child’s behavior toward you.


therapy is not for everyone, but hearing your child say “I hate you” can be really traumatic for mothers, make sure you surround yourself with friends and family who love you.

You will need a lot of support during this difficult time, if you don’t want to trust a loved one, find a local support group for mothers in a similar situation.

the final thought

Sons hating their mothers is not common, but unfortunately it does happen in some families. there are many different reasons why sons may come to hate their mothers.

The main causes of a strained mother-child bond are mental illness, a controlling or overprotective mother, and disrespected boundaries. however, every family is different and there can be several reasons why a son no longer loves his mother.

A relationship can be healed after saying the words “I hate you”. However, it can take a lot of time and hard work to achieve a reconciliation, both the mother and the son must recognize their mistakes and be willing to forgive each other.

If you find yourself thinking “why does my son hate me?”, we hope you have found a lot of useful information in this article.

Relationships between mother and son can be complicated, but there is hope; With the right strategies, you and your child can rebuild a strong, healthy relationship.

perhaps you’re struggling with your relationship with your daughter, check out our tips here, or if you’re struggling with general fighting within the family, check out our strategies here.

Content Creator Zaid Butt joined Silsala-e-Azeemia in 2004 as student of spirituality. Mr. Zahid Butt is an IT professional, his expertise include “Web/Graphic Designer, GUI, Visualizer and Web Developer” PH: +92-3217244554

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