A new study published today in Social Psychological and Personality Science finds that two-thirds of romantic couples started out in a platonic relationship.
This “friends-first” initiation of romance becomes often overlooked by researchers.
The authors examined a selection of previous studies on how relationships begin and found that almost 75% focused on sparking a romance between strangers.
In contrast, only 8% focused on romance that develops between friends over time.
How romantic couples begin
“There are a lot of people who would say they are very confident that we know why and how people choose mates and become couples and fall in love, but our research suggests that is not the case,” said lead author Danu Anthony Stinson of the University of Victoria in Canada.
“We may have a good understanding of how strangers are attracted to each other and dating, but that’s just not how most relationships start,” she said.
68% romantic couples started as friends
The team analyzed data from nearly 1,900 participants. About 900 were university students and about a thousand older adults.
All in all, 68% said their current or most recent romantic relationship started as a friendship, rather than meeting at a party or online, for example.
There were hardly any gender differences , level of education or ethnic groups.
But the rate of friends-first initiation was even higher among 20-year-olds and within LGBTQ communities.
In these groups, 85% said their relationship started as a friendship.
From Friends to Relationships
Among college students were “Friends First Initiators” . Friends for a year or two before starting a romantic relationship.
Researchers found that the vast majority of these participants reported that they did not enter into their friendships out of romantic intent or attraction.
Stinson also noted that the average length of friendships before romance likely means that the couples were genuine, platonic friends before they began dating.
Platonic vs Friendship: What is it? Difference?
What about friendship love vs. romantic love?
A platonic relationship is a close relationship between two people who do not have sexual contact with each other. Platonic relationships can be either friendly or romantic.
On the other hand, friendship is a relationship between two people who have a mutual affection for one another. Friendships can also be either platonic or romantic.
So what’s the difference between a platonic relationship and a friendship? Well, the main difference is that platonic relationships are not sexual while friendships can be.
Platonic relationships can also be more intimate than friendships, as they often involve sharing deep secrets and feelings with one another.
Friends first preferred over meeting at parties or online
Almost half of the students indicated that starting as friends was their preferred way of starting a romantic relationship, making it far more popular than other options offered, such as dating. B. Meeting at a party or online.
Given the prevalence of romantic couples beginning platonic, Stinson would like to see more studies examining this type of relationship formation.
She also hopes that this research will lead people to reconsider their preconceived notions about love and friendship.
Stinson notes that we’re often taught that romance and friendship are different types of relationships that form in different ways and meet different needs.
“Our research suggests that the lines between friendship and romance are blurring,” Stinson says, “and I think that’s forcing us to reconsider our assumptions about what makes a good friendship, but also what makes a good romantic relationship.”
Research: “The Journey from Friends to Lovers: Widespread, Favored, and Overlooked by Science”Authors: Danu Stinson, Jessica Cameron, and Lisa Hoplock Published in: Social Psychological and Personality ScienceDate of publication: 12. July 2021DOI:https://dx.doi. org/10.1177/19485506211026992Photo: by Karen Warfel from Pixabay
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